Becoming a Persecuted Prophet
Becoming a Persecuted Prophet
ith all that I had learned, I had begun to believe I truly possessed an enlightened mind in the faith. I knew my own heart, I knew that I sought God diligently with everything that I had, and I knew that this must absolutely lead to truth. Without seeking God and asking him, I could end up believing any old doctrine and following the masses of any particular denomination. In order to know the truth, I had to think for myself and seek God for answers. I did this with all my heart, soul, and mind. I felt alone, but I did not let that deter me. It had to be that way. I assumed God had a big plan in store for me. The idea that I might very well be a prophet started creeping into my head. I could read people better than others and I could see the times for what they were. I could read something in the Bible and hear God saying how this applies for life today. I became sure that God spoke to me in these ways and guided my thoughts as I sought him. He truly spoke to me.
I often held conversations in my mind where I would ask a question and I would sense a response as if from my subconscious which I thought might be God responding from within me. I had always feared whether or not these conversations were with God or with my own mind, but I began to wonder if other people could even do the same thing or if I was unique. Perhaps God really did speak with me. I did not dare call myself a prophet right away, but I kept considering the potential in the back of my mind. I began to pay more attention to my inward feelings and the “voice” in my head. On New Year’s Eve 2010, I witnessed a rather uncharacteristic thunderstorm for Michigan on December 31. I felt exhilaration and fear simultaneously as a thought randomly popped into my head, “So shall it be for the year 2011.” I had an impression that 2011 would be a year of strange weather phenomenon and likely of devastation. I did not use this premonition as a warning to provide for others since obviously no one would listen, but I did make sure to tell a few people just in case they would not believe me after the fact that I had predicted it. I wrote it out in emails for timestamped documentation and I continued to monitor the weather.
Oddly enough, just as I predicted (or as God told me), 2011 became one of the worst years we had had in a long time. Only half-way through the year, on June 11, 2011 Scientific American ran an article entitled “NOAA Makes It Official: 2011 Among Most Extreme Weather Years in History.” My perception that the weather lived up to my terrible expectations had been officially matched by others. I had neither been tricked by confirmation bias—seeing what I wanted to see—nor had I been fooled by paying attention now when before I had not. All the news and scientists agreed with me. The year 2011 exhibited terribly disastrous weather beyond the years before it.
The article explained how there had already been eight disasters surpassing costs of a billion dollars each. In 2011, there were massive outbreaks of tornadoes, hurricanes, wildfires, floods, volcanic eruptions, and even earthquakes leaving roads split in half where one side reached around ten feet higher than the other. I even read about a case of nearly 3000 birds falling dead right out of the sky in Arkansas for no known reason on the third of January—a good way to start a year of devastation if you ask me. I saw God’s judgement being poured out over the earth and many online articles were written with just such a narrative. I had personally predicted this devastation by following the voice in my head. I figured this just had to mean something.
That year there were even named storms for both Emily and Sean which seemed like a nice added touch by the hand of God. It disappointed me slightly though that my storm only made it to minor tropical storm status and did no damage whereas Emily got a full-blown hurricane. Perhaps it meant that I was weak and useless or perhaps her mindset exhibited more violence and stubbornness than mine while I promoted peace and safety. She still believed in the destructive old ways, after all. I found myself becoming much more comfortable with my prophetic skills and giving more credibility to my subtle intuitions.
I still did not see myself as a prophet along the order of Elijah, of course, since I had no miraculous powers, and I kept rather humble about it by recognizing that I might very well be off my rocker. I saw and knew things that others did not but I did not make myself out to be some famous entity to be renowned for all time. God may speak to me, but prophecy is one of many gifts and it seemed to be the only gift I had—I could do nothing with it if I lacked the other gifts. I did not have the gift of teaching nor leading, I clearly did not have the gift of healing, never could I speak in tongues, and when it came to evangelizing I feared I could not convince someone of the ground beneath their feet. So despite believing myself to have the gift of prophecy, it disheartened me greatly that I had no good utilization for it. It did me no good to know the word of God if I could not be of any use with it. I needed someone to trust and to believe me while implementing their own gifts with the knowledge I provided. I needed to find others who had the other gifts of the Spirit.
I discussed my ideas of power and prophecy with my friend Chadrick. He hesitated to accept the concept of prophecy for quite some time and he certainly did not like the idea of calling me a prophet or even mentioning that I might have such a gift. Chadrick appeared to have a gift of apostleship in my eyes; I saw him as friendly and personable in such a way as to draw people together and get them on board for greater projects. He knew people and people liked him. I often followed him around to meet with other people and talk about the kingdom of God.
For a while, we were fine with having disagreements and we both felt as if all things could be resolved over time by researching the Bible. Chadrick started a document in Google Drive that we could both edit simultaneously. We wrote out our beliefs in a semi-organized fashion and we color-coded it based upon what we agreed with and what we did not. We would add different verses to express our position more clearly in order to have a cohesive argument and discussion right in the document. I thoroughly enjoyed searching for the truth of the kingdom together in this way.
It went sour, however, when I started sharing doubts about the fundamental belief that the Bible is God’s word. He began to disagree vehemently that God’s power could be obtained and he continually insisted that God absolutely required that people dunk themselves in water in order to be saved. I felt Baptism ought to be done, but I also felt that such sacraments held no special power in and of themselves. God required us to love, to help the needy, and to make this one’s way of life—to be born again in life toward others and die to self—true baptism. Water baptism merely symbolized that.
Chadrick hated that I disagreed with this and hated even more the very notion that the Bible could be wrong. Further, he did not appreciate that I felt God led me to this understanding which often made him and others feel inferior by saying God would speak with me and not with them. Given the multitude of insights I received and the many confirming signs, I began to embrace the idea that God had given me a gift of prophecy, and I believed that we should not make a big deal about it. We could enjoy it in the same way we could enjoy the gifts others might have in leading, teaching, or even art and music. I tried having peaceful conversation with him about it, but he refused to discuss with anyone who did not take the Bible in its entirety:
I'm not going to argue with you about your false teachings. I will tell everyone who I talk to who asks about you that you are a false teacher as long as you keep going with your current mindset. Do I wish it were another way? I do. I wish you would come to your senses and stop with this narcissistic attitude but until then I will consider you a divisive false teacher who wishes to lead others astray. Sorry man, but I hold to the whole message of this life rather than what you think is your word from God. If you ever do come back and accept the Bible as the word of God written for His followers we can join this discussion again. Until then you have to go your own way and I have to go mine.
The accusation of narcissism came from my believing that I received prophetic revelation. I made extra effort not to take credit or to let it go to my head as if I were something special, but nobody wishes to hear that God speaks to someone else and not to them. Indeed, it makes it sound as if the person thinks they are more privileged and special. This response surprisingly mimicked an encounter I had with another person I had the joy of meeting.
I met Laura via a Meetup group which I created in order to restore Christianity to its original state. It turned out that we disagreed on what that original state was, unfortunately. I believed Christianity originally centered around doing good and she felt it centered around the bloody death of Jesus removing our need to do anything at all but believe. I thought I had been clear on that point in the Meetup description, but apparently not.
Laura and I sat on the balcony floor of a Panera when we learned of our differences. While my reaction comprised sighing on the inside with no great surprise at yet another disagreement, she decided to be a bit more outspoken. She held my own Bible an inch from my face and shouted, “Why do you even read this?! You don’t even believe in it! You’re an antichrist! A Satanist! A Luciferian!!” I sat bewildered that such a frail lady could suddenly appear so red-faced and angry as she continued to rail on me. I stared at her in disbelief as she continued on regarding my desire to break up the greatness of God’s kingdom of which she so clearly belonged.
I said nothing. I expect she had hoped for a different reaction from me. Perhaps she awaited a demon to rise up from within me and similarly spout insults. She took a break from ranting and breathed heavily as she stared at me and wiped the spittle from her lips. She then grunted in frustration and went and fumbled with her stuff trying to pack up to leave. I later emailed her in hopes to make nice, but she would have nothing of it:
Sean, you have blasphemed the Holy Spirit, I think, and have no awareness of your own condition. No conscience. You have denied that Jesus is God. You have denied that His blood cleanses from sin. You have denied that the Bible is the inspired, infallible Word of God. That is Satan moving through you right now — trying to convince you that you are a loving person trying to follow Jesus.
This Jesus you are following is not the Jesus of scripture. There is no scripture that can reach you.
You are insane. I'm sorry, but you are insane.
Now, if God peradventure would give you the gift of repentance — if peradventure you have not completely blasphemed the Spirit and are beyond repentance — then you must repent and turn to believe that:
1. Jesus is God
2. Jesus came in human flesh as God to die for the sins of the world
3. His blood cleanses from all sin.
4. The Bible is the inspired, infallible Word of God
If you cannot believe these things, you are in a state of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and there is no escape for you from hell. You are an antichrist.
Please have no further communication with me until such time as you can profess in living faith those 4 points. You have been excommunicated. You are merely trying to convince yourself in insanity that you are a good person by your works. Your whole email to me was an exercise in psychotic narcissism.
I'm telling you the truth. But, let's not debate truth. I just want it clear that you must be able to believe with living faith the 4 points stated above, or you are excommunicated and remain in excommunication.
With a response like that, I can imagine one might be curious as to what I had said to her that resulted in such Godly-inspired rage. Here is what I had said:
I am sorry we could not have had a more pleasant experience. I could promise you all I want that I love Jesus deeply and that I am sincerely seeking to follow his teachings, but I understand if that is not enough for you to consider me a disciple of Christ. All that I spoke of is indeed found within the Bible but one must be open to hearing the guidance of the living God as opposed to the strict religious following of ancient texts. This was exactly what Jesus condemned the Pharisees for and it has occurred once again. I do not expect this to change anything but know that I hold no grievance if ever you come to recognize the apostasy as I and wish to reconvene. May the living God direct you and make your paths straight. God bless.
Perhaps I am unaware of the arrogance and evil within such statements, but to this day I cannot understand how they fuel so much rage. All I could imagine then was that Satan himself worked within such people. When the devil is found out, he gets irate!
Interestingly enough, points 2 and 3 from Laura’s email are arguably the same thing and together with points 1 and 4 they made up the exact 3 lies that mean so much to Christians and yet very little to Jesus. They are the 3 points that cause division (as I just experienced twice) and they could not be reconciled with a desire for loving others. People find these 3 ideas more important than treating one another with love and respect.
Even without arguing against these points directly, I found throughout my life a consistent pattern of rejection when trying to uplift loving others. Even before denying the core doctrines, Christians loved to call me arrogant and narcissistic. It is hard to distinguish if it is a common denominator with me or a common issue with Christianity, and clearly I would be biased toward the latter. On top of denouncing the core doctrines, my adding an openness to hearing God directly made me far scarier to people. Why, thinking that God can speak, we could believe absolutely anything. It makes all the more sense, however, that a living God would tell us directly what he wants rather than forcing us to rely on some 1500- to 4000-year-old texts written and compiled by some blood-thirsty people with whom we could never confirm nor deny a connection with God.
So many people were entirely uncomfortable with the idea that God might speak. They simply wished to follow the Bible and the Bible alone and yet not any two people on the planet could even agree on what the Bible means. I presume they are uncomfortable with God speaking because they know deep down that he does not. But why would he remain silent if indeed he lives? It seemed obvious to me that we needed to get away from the Bible and start focusing on the characteristics of love and peace that our God supposedly embodied and to take his leading in each and every moment of life. I was very alone in this belief, of course, and it brought me extreme sadness and depression.
The continual accusations actually led me to believe all the more that I had chosen the proper path even if it did depress me. Such anger coming from people could only be from the working of Satan, and if Satan were so adamantly furious with my findings, then it only made sense that I had found truth and he did not like it. A loving God would not be the one reacting with hate and anger at his follower trying so hard to follow him. Given the outrage and lack of love coming from others, I could certainly assume that they did not know the truth of God. Further, Jesus said that those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake are blessed and that now applied directly to me. I argued for righteousness and I had been persecuted. The Bible also warned that anyone wishing to live a good life would indeed be persecuted and I had certainly earned that status.
Throughout my Christian walk I had seemingly always been persecuted, but Satan continued to up the ante as I got further from dogma. I tried convincing people of this fact that we are supposed to be persecuted just as I saw regularly in my own life. Everyone would ignore this concept or else they took it as a matter of fact that Christians were indeed persecuted as a whole without ever experiencing a drop of such persecution themselves. Even as a Christian I did not feel as if many Christians were persecuted or even that I received enough myself, and coming from an atheistic perspective I now understand the foolishness of believing that Christians are the persecuted ones.
It is easy enough to see Christians persecuted in the east with beheadings and whatnot but not really any more than atheists and they are certainly not so persecuted in the western world. In some countries, anyone disagreeing with Sharia law (or perhaps merely desiring an education as a female) finds his or her head in a basket whether Christian, Jewish, Atheist, or Muslim. Christians have just as many enemies as the atheists since any religion hating Christianity will also hate atheists.
Given my own perception of what Christianity should be, I never saw the United States as a Christian nation, but given the general consensus of Christianity based upon the three putrid lies, Christianity comprises a significant majority of this country and certainly casts more stones than it receives despite their many cries of being picked on. Christianity fairly recently undid much of the work that the original founders accomplished in 1776 when the United States proclaimed its independence. In 1791 the Bill of Rights protected us against governmental influence of religion and yet we constantly see the government promoting religion today thanks to the Christian majority. That majority is indeed slowly changing, however, and things are beginning to lean more towards freedom once again.
It is widely unknown, mostly by Christians, but our money did not say “In God We Trust” until 1864 when it first appeared in coinage nearly a century later and only became the country’s motto in 1956. In fact, it has been the motto for only 60 years as of writing this (2016) and has been on our currency for only 152 of the 240 years that we have been independent. Secular government was the default concept until Christianity, being the majority, could undo this separation of church and state. The motto on the first penny was actually “Liberty Parent of Science & Industry.”
Thomas Jefferson wrote in 1802, “... religion is a matter which lies solely between man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions.” Placing “In God We Trust” on our currency and proclaiming it the motto of the country is entirely opposed to this concept. The government may not have required belief by law, but it is certainly reaching into the realm of opinions and not actions. It nullifies completely that some people do not believe in God.
The Pledge of Allegiance is another instance of religious modification. Composed in 1892, it remained without the phrase “under God” until 1954, and the Pledge of Allegiance from then on required kids to proclaim faith in God every day at school. This, too, clearly goes against Thomas Jefferson’s idea that government should not reach into opinion and belief as opposed to action.
Today, those professing Christianity comprise nearly 100% of all governmental officials. Coming out as an atheist is an act of political suicide. In a 2012 Gallup poll (see figure), even homosexuals and Muslims showed more favorable as a presidential candidate than a qualified atheist and those two people groups are rife with strife in the Christian community. No one is more hated than an atheist.
An atheist is cursed and falsely accused of all kinds of malicious things even when many promote only love and peace as humanists. And yet the Christians who speak the loudest tend to be the war-mongering hateful ones. It is odd that those professing the label of being heaven-bound tend to be those accounting for the most hateful of speech while those removing themselves from such dogma and focusing on humanitarian ways are the ones labeled as hell-bound. By considering how these labels were switched, and given the state of Christianity as I saw it, along with the great uprising against me for promoting peace, I believed more and more that Christianity had been corrupted and thus corrupted the world.
Christianity twisted our history books to make us believe that we were a Christian nation. It corrupted the message of Jesus from peace and love to bloodlust, sacrifice, intolerance, and hate. It took away the power of the people to seek God on their own only to be subdued by a patriarchal structure of priests. It shut God up and required that we read about his historical presence while ignoring that he still exists and speaks today. Never once did my research, studying, praying, and seeking yield me a response from God that I ought to trust a random church or follow the ways of the Bible. I felt entirely led by God to trust in him to speak, to guide, and to instruct in an ever-changing world. I felt confirmation every step of the way that Christianity had fallen from whence it had become and that only rational thought and insight would reap a harvest of truth.
I began trusting my prophetic sense all the more as I read the Bible. I began to realize that God could speak to me through the text in metaphorical ways in the same manner by which he informed me of the coming 2011 weather phenomena. The storm on New Year’s Eve did not literally say anything, but God used it to give me a deep impression that I could understand. I began following and believing more of these impressions as I felt they were justifiably God’s true voice much like his whispering in 1 Kings 19:13.
The book of Joel hit me hard as a metaphor for modern Christianity. Joel proclaimed that God wanted what was written there to be passed down from generation to generation so that it would not be forgotten. That message talked about how locusts came and devoured everything including the smallest leftovers. Whatever the great locusts left, smaller ones would eat, and what they left even smaller ones would eat. And even what seemed to be left by those would be eaten by yet other locusts. I took this to mean the Word of God.
The word of God had been consumed until nothing good remained. It started with the great locusts—-the apostles—and followed up with a multitude of believers down the generations. Joel admonished that we should recognize these things happening, to recognize that we have lost the wine and the food and respond by wailing and lamenting. This, too, resonated with me as the power of God being taken away from us, and yet the people were oblivious that it had occurred. The ultimate summation indicated that we ought to bemoan our state and draw everyone together for a change as we repent of our disgusting religiosity and denial of his voice. This had me enthused as I longed for such a day as when men would recognize the failings of the church and band together in unity toward love. Yet again, I had no one to tell. My excitement fell flat and useless.
I kept studying all the more, and I felt a prick in my heart as if something were amiss while reading 2 Thessalonians 2. I took to BlueLetterBible.org and began researching each and every word in the original Greek trying to draw out the original meaning of the verses. Having neither official instruction in Greek nor having the original conjugations of the words, I made due with the Spirit of God to compose my own version of 2 Thessalonians 2:3-12 knowing that any word could have been slightly tweaked over the years anyway. Whether or not my translation could possibly be derived from what we have today mattered little at this point since I knew within my heart that God led me. Even if my own text were way off from the oldest Greek version on record, the supposed original could have been corrupted over time to veer from this new meaning that I had derived which had just as much plausibility as truth. Further, my version could be God’s unique words to me and have nothing to do with the original intent. So I tried to translate it as best I could and I came up with the following:
Let no man deceive you in any way; that day shall not come until there is first a written divorcement (i.e. the Bible) and that this wandering from righteousness is uncovered: this progeny of destruction that opposes and lifts itself up over all speaking of God or else is honored as if it were God, is appointed among the churches demonstrating itself as their God. Don’t you remember? For when I was still among you, I told you these things. Likewise, presently, you see withholding such that this might be revealed at the proper time. For this hidden concept of unrighteousness is showing itself already at work, but is presently detained until it comes into existence from amongst us. And at that time this unrighteousness will be revealed which the Lord will destroy with the spirit of His mouth and put an end to it manifesting his presence. Whose presence is, according to the powerful work of the adversary, lying with all its powers and signs and miracles. And in all the deceitfulness of unrighteousness in those that perish, they instead do not take hold of the truth of love unto their own healing. And for this reason, God shall insert powerful errors into the lie that they believe such that all will be at odds with one another who do not believe the truth but think this unrighteousness seems good.
When I had finished, I sat with my mouth agape in astonishment. There in the Bible I found a covered-up proclamation that the Bible itself acted as a written divorcement from God. It would be created out of the workings of the apostles and God would allow it so that the prophecy could be fulfilled. It is a hidden concept of unrighteousness because people thought that it would be good to write this stuff down and they did not realize what it truly accomplished: God’s silence, division, and hate. By latching on to the Bible, we refused to listen to God speak. All the churches appointed it as if it were God himself by proclaiming the words it spoke as the words of God directly. God could no longer speak his own words. And further, whoever thought that this terrible deed, this written divorcement, was a good thing, such people would be at odds with one another as they are today due to the many errors that God himself inserted.
This fully explained the multitude of divisions of Christianity. God inserted powerful lies and errors that confused all the Bible-believers and set them at odds against each other. The text also revealed that one day this would be recognized and people would once again long for the voice of God rather than the book and that God would then come and destroy this foolishness once and for all. He would again perform miracles and wonders which the devil will proclaim are merely lies and trickery.
I could hardly contain my excitement upon completing this translation. Many long and painstaking hours had I put into it as I relied on God to help me and the result could be no clearer. The secret had been discovered and perhaps others, somewhere, someday, would realize it too. I had a new calling to speak it from the rooftops and reveal it to the rest of mankind to usher in the coming of Christ. By listening to God, I had been led into deeper secrets and knowledge of the Kingdom and soon I would see his amazing power.