Author's Apology For His Book
in·fi·del
noun \ˈin-fə-dəl, -fə-ˌdel\
: a person who does not believe in a religion that someone regards as the true religion
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/infidel
THE AUTHOR’S APOLOGY FOR HIS BOOK
When at the first I set my mind to write
Surrounding all I saw of Christ was blight
Nary did I know in such a way I’d stop short;
To think myself worthy to speak, I’d snort.
The snorting, surely, showed my own esteem,
Yet prophets of God oft start this way it seems.
Though leery of self to swing such a pendulum
(To think me low and then so high, was I not dumb?)
I took to learning, as if smarts were of import
And sought, as it were, truth from false to sort.
The goal, to be wise, left me always learning.
To learn one thing led to more for the yearning.
Writing what I knew, which may be little when compared
Would fine-tune and change in ways I was not prepared.
And thus failing to write anything for which was worth to be read
I was oft depressed almost wishing to be dead.
With luck, as with life failing to depart, so wisdom too remains
And the better part thereof has led to many gains.
Those gains of which from now I lead my life
Come from a journey which started full of strife.
If you, like me, seek only love and peace
You may find my words enlightening and give your mind increase.
The other path, which seems dreadful and sour,
May give rise to anger which you wish to empower.
For this I do give pause and offer my condolence
I apologize deeply yet true words need no atonements
And so, though my aim be not that of offense,
No doubt heads will flame from one side of the fence
Beliefs, be them dear, shut minds to reason and raise emotion
And such feelings should, in fact, give one a notion
That reason has been closed off with fight-or-flight replaced
And cause a pause to reflect what this shows on its face:
Obstinacy and refusal of truth from cognitive dissonance inside
Like a mirror proving ugliness yet having only pride.
Facts and opinions should never cause offense
Emotions fighting reason makes nearly zero sense.
Best then it is for logic to make its stand
And refute soundly an idea without raising a backhand.
With all this in mind, my journey starts where it oft ends
And circles back to where others might deem it begins
I explain my walk with God which led my faith be changed
To one without “Christ” though not fully estranged.
To ease any suspicion, I would like to express that I am fully aware of the ways in which this story demonstrates my own failures and calloused heart—both in the content of the story and, at times, the ways in which I have presented it. I believe there is much insight to be gleaned from such failures, and this is a major factor in my decision to publish the book. As such, I would like to extend an actual apology as I had quite more to learn even after writing this. In particular, the last two chapters leave me scoffing yet again at my own foolish ways. I have learned much in the last four years, and I am now appalled yet again at my beliefs and choices of words. Such colorful remarks may appear throughout the book, but I will leave them as they were written—partly out of sheer laziness, but also to serve as a record of my growth whilst I attempted to comprehend this thing called life.
I am no longer so polar in my views of humanity when it comes to religion and politics. I now feel as if most hatred is a mere consequence of misunderstanding from preconceived ideas due to the forced demonization of the “other” in order to acquire votes. I had fallen for such tactics and I now regret it deeply. I apologize in advance if I insinuate or explicitly state that you or your political leaders are evil or if I use words that intentionally spite your heart-felt beliefs. I was a fool and quite likely still am in other ways. That said, I do hope you enjoy my story for what it is and learn something along the way.