Fully Integrated and Fully Researched

 

s should be exceedingly clear by this point, I took my faith seriously, I made Christianity my life, and I desired to integrate it into every aspect. Unfortunately, I found little evidence that others made their faith as equally important. I had zero desire to live for anything else and I tried to prove it with the way I lived. I rejected downloading illegal mp3s, movies, and software from Kazaa and Napster. I remained honest and helpful as much as I could muster. I did not take joy in anything that uplifted evil such as ghosts, witches, and vampires. This prompted an unpleasant confrontation when Crusade hosted a Halloween party at The Guys’ House.

A few crusaders dressed up as vampires which rubbed me quite extensively in the wrong way. For a Christian who believes in demons and literally believes that witchcraft is possible by utilizing the power of those demons, it is easy to understand that uplifting evil things is terribly dangerous and might bring about devastating consequences. Having idols in one’s house can very literally be taken as an invitation for demons to come in and wreak havoc on the inhabitants. Uplifting blood-sucking vampires and making light of communion with the dead could ultimately lead to disastrous results, and in fact it did—for me, anyway. My heart sank in frustration as my complaints went disregarded.

As if the vampires were not enough, the party’s self-appointed DJ played modern pop music (likely illegally downloaded) which glorified all kinds of things about drugs, sex, and alcohol. Not only did they play such smut, everyone danced to it as well and had a great time indulging in it! My stomach churned in legitimate pain and sadness. I assured them that I knew and owned plenty of good Christian music one could dance to such as Rebecca St James, V*Enna, P.O.D., Pillar, Steven Curtis Chapman, and more, but they would have nothing of my influence for a more Christian atmosphere.

When I took the plunge to appoint myself as the DJ by switching the music to my own (thinking they would thank me later), it killed the mood for most everyone. They claimed it did not work for them. People stopped dancing and the party slowly left the dance floor and went upstairs. Seriously, I thought, making our party more Godly killed it? Can God honestly kill a party for legitimate Christians? My heart sunk even further perhaps reaching down to my feet.

I could hardly think straight as sorrow and frustration enveloped me. I could not believe the evil of these crusaders taking part in this debauchery before God and yet having the audacity to call themselves Christians. While the internal turmoil was intense, my outward appearance showed little more than frustration. I doubt anyone knew just how much that night left me emotionally scarred and ever-more ready to witness to Christians over atheists.

             Despite the crusaders’ affinity toward music which uplifted sex, Crusade overall emphasized that men ought to fight for the ever-elusive concept of sexual purity. I am not sure how much emphasis the women put on sexual purity, but the guys understood it as a number one priority to overcome their physiology.

Pornography was considered one of the vilest things we could engage in apart from real-life unwedded sex or perhaps murder, and we certainly abhorred the evils of masturbation despite that all but very few men admitted to doing it regularly. Men’s Bible study groups often focused on this topic specifically. The Elite Forces Bible study went through a book titled Every Man’s Battle which, as you might suspect, focused entirely on every man’s struggle for sexual purity. We regularly tried to hold each other accountable for our purity in order to continually encourage us to remain pure.

              Accountability was achieved by asking whether or not we had failed within the week since our last study either by looking at porn or by masturbating. We even came up with a question which held a secret meaning that we could ask to determine if a person had failed recently. In this way we could hold each other accountable in public and even around women without anyone knowing what we were talking about. We never did actually use it, but we had it just in case, I guess.

Sex and lust were a big deal in all Christian circles of men which I had participated in. This, of course, now amazes me that such a natural part of life can be so over-emphasized and demonized. I cannot fathom a reason for God to be so involved in our sexual desires unless we are physically hurting someone in the process. But then, it’s not sex that is the problem, but suffering. Yet despite ignoring the poor, having complacency in stealing music, and being downright worldly—all things Jesus specifically forebode—we clung to sexual repression as noble and hatred for sexual expression as just.   

             I knew of no Christians who took kindly to homosexuality. Every year at Michigan Tech, LGBT groups would celebrate Pride Week and flaunt their homosexuality in proud defiance against God. That is how we saw it, of course. Their goal had nothing to do with God and everything to do with trying to help a hated group of people become accepted members of society. Christians tend to see it as flaunting wickedness and encouraging debauchery. These groups would hold a parade and use chalk all over the sidewalks to write things like, “Have you hugged a gay person today?” Someone anonymously responded with black charcoal, “Yeah, with the bumper of my truck.”

Crusade had recently used charcoal to write on the sidewalks which is fairly unique since most people use actual chalk which does not come in black. It is fairly plausible that a crusader had something to do with such hateful words. While we did not want that kind of publicity and we did not know if a crusader had truly written it, this response expressed the feelings of many Christians. In fact, who but a Christian or other religious person could possibly hate homosexuality? What reason would they have? We saw homosexuals as laughing in the face of our God and proudly displaying their sin while encouraging others to be okay with it and even encouraging others to do it. We could not let our country become like Sodom and Gomorrah and to reap a similar fate of fire and brimstone raining from heaven as God administered in Genesis 19. Homosexuals were to be feared for this reason and we had to stand against them.

             Luckily for me, I did not personally struggle with homosexual tendencies, but I did have a friend who did. He recognized me as a “Jesus Freak” so he came to me abashedly and wanted to talk. We went to a conference room and he slowly started explaining that he had something important he wanted to talk about. He could not quite get the words out though. “I wanted to talk to you about… well… I…” he stammered. “You see, well… there’s this thing… and I—“

“—You’re gay?” I finished for him questioningly. His eyes lit up which worried me at first as if I had perceived incorrectly.

“I, uh, yes! How did you know?”

“Well, I can’t say I knew, but I felt God leading me to that conclusion,” I explained.

He immediately felt more comfortable knowing that God could tell me such hidden things; perhaps I could indeed help him. “Is it wrong?” he asked. “How do I stop it?”

I remember telling him that homosexual desires embodied the same issue that heterosexual men faced. Every day we battled with sexually impure thoughts, and homosexual thoughts were simply a different flavor of them. In the same way that he must fight his urges for men, we must also fight our own for women. With enough diligence, prayer, and seeking after God, we could overcome these urges whether they be for men or women and we could be sexually pure as God desires.

             I further encouraged him to understand that his urges likely derived from some kind of traumatic event in his childhood or his overall upbringing. Perhaps he lacked a positive masculine influence in his life such that he would desire a more masculine person to be intimate with. “In such cases,” I explained, “an intimate masculine relationship is desired to fill a part of your life, but it is important to remove the sexual aspect from it. As men, we have a hard time disassociating intimacy from sex, but we can be intimate with men just like Jesus and his disciples without getting sexual.” We prayed together and he seemed grateful for my help, but I heard very little from him after that meeting. I believe he joined a gay club on campus which broke my heart knowing that I failed to adequately help him.

             Later in my life I would find that a close friend of mine who visited our home Bible studies also struggled with homosexuality. I had similar conversations with her and encouraged her to break off friendship with the person whom she was having these relations with. I am now glad for my first friend who may have found himself despite me. I only regret any negative influences I might have had upon him. He might forever struggle with acceptance of himself due to me and other Christians, and I can only hope that this is not the case. As for my second friend, she is still within the church and is still fighting the battle of homosexuality as far as I know.

I railed on Mesha pretty harshly saying that she knew what she needs to do and that she is has simply refused to do it. I praised her when she finally moved out of the apartment she shared with this other girl and this now breaks my heart terribly. For a homosexual, I can only imagine it is statistically more difficult and perhaps even dangerous to find love. She had already found someone to love but her faith broke this love apart and with my full blessing and encouragement to boot. Her life is now highly focused on fighting a fact of who she is and denying herself a lasting relationship that would be satisfying and comforting for her. She cries out to God abasing herself and mourning her nature while wishing she could be someone else. She had even been excommunicated from one church which could not tolerate her particular struggles. I can only hope she finds peace someday if she has not already.

In the fight between Christians and homosexuals, I tend to find that both sides argue for something true while not realizing they are arguing entirely different points. Christians are entirely correct that homosexuality is a choice while non-Christians are similarly entirely correct when saying that it is not a choice. The problem is merely definitional. Homosexuality, to a Christian, is literally the act of having sex with someone of the same gender. To anyone not subscribing to this particular definition, it is understood that homosexuality is the attraction to people of the same sex. The first is a choice while the second is not. There are many people I am sexually attracted to and whom I choose not to engage sexually. I cannot choose the attraction, but I can choose the action.

This disconnect in definitions causes insults to fling in both directions by impatient idiots from both sides of the fence and neither can stop to see the truth of the point of the other. This does not particularly solve what to do with people who are attracted to the same sex, but it is at least a better starting point. I could only add that while it may be a sin in the modern-day Christian world, there are plenty of other sins that are actually harmful to others unlike homosexuality, and they are not fought against nearly as strongly.

I would highly encourage Christians to focus more on sins that harm others when it comes to making laws and also focusing on overcoming one’s own sins rather than worrying about the sins of another when it is victimless. God will supposedly judge the sins and hearts of others so we do not have to. A Christian needs only to judge whether or not they ought to associate—or appear to belong to the same group as—a particular person. They need not hate them, deny them, or make laws against them.

 

*  *  *

 

When I was not personally too busy trying to fend off the demons responsible for arousing the sexual desires within me, I spent a significant amount of my time contemplating, studying, and learning apologetics—not to be confused with the art of apology which I later had to master. Apologetics is the art of speaking in one’s own defense. In the Christian sense, this means that I studied how to defend my beliefs so that I might always have an answer for my faith to any who would ask. This is what the author admonished us to do in 1 Peter 3:15. I learned how to rationalize anything that someone could bring against Christianity. I often looked for complaints of contradiction online and I found nothing that I could not resolve.

             I became especially fond of Pascal’s Wager since I rather enjoyed logic. This wager says that faith in God offers eternal bliss if it is right and nothing bad if it is wrong. A lack of faith on the other hand, offers nothing good if it is right and eternal suffering if it is wrong. The logical choice is clear that it is best to err on the side of faith since you have everything to gain and nothing to lose versus everything to lose and nothing to gain. I would use this reasoning in attempts to convince people that they ought to take faith seriously and really dive in to allow God to prove himself. It is worth giving it a chance just for the sake of the wager. This wager, of course, has many pitfalls, but few people I discussed this with had ever heard of the wager let alone devised the common problems associated with it. Thus, I never really had to look any further than the initial argument since I never found myself in a position of having to defend it more thoroughly.

             One obvious flaw with Pascal’s Wager is that it seems to indicate that there is only one faith with the promise of heaven and the threat of hell. There is a vast array of religions that offer this dilemma. It is therefore not a matter of faith in God but rather a faith in a particular religion. This means someone must now determine if the true religion worthy of the wager is Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Mormonism, Seventh Day Adventism, Catholicism, and so on. Where does one put his or her wager when each one is exclusive to the other and offers hell if not selected? It only makes sense to put the wager where it is best backed by proper reasoning and logic which is fairly opposite of the concept of faith. One needs no faith or wager if indeed it can be calculated or proven. I had actually thought that I did indeed base my religion on fact, however. I relished this belief so much so that when I started getting new facts, I actually held true to my logic and began changing my beliefs and behaviors.

             Pascal’s Wager also ignores the repercussions of one’s faith; it is anything but “nothing to lose” if it is wrong and my story is a very good example of that. Faith in Christianity, if wrong, is extremely detrimental in that it encourages faith in the impossible and often leads people to intolerance of things that could not otherwise be considered sin for lack of harming anyone. Some religious sects will not allow you to dance or play cards and they are intolerant of anyone who does. If the faith is wrong, then it is morally toxic to indict such people as they enjoy their lives doing something entirely harmless. The majority of Christianity teaches that homosexuality is wrong and many Christians spend a lot of time focused on denying such feelings. If the faith is wrong, then a homosexual might spend their entire life fighting against the very thing that would make them most satisfied with life: finding a loving partner to live with. Christianity also leads to a lot of other superstitious beliefs like witchcraft and homeopathy which can be deadly and might cause rejection of science which often disproves religious beliefs. Many children die every year due to the neglect of parents to see a doctor because they believe God will heal them via prayer.

             Religion, as it did for me, can waste many years of one’s life focusing on things that are ultimately unimportant while ignoring much of what is. From an eternal perspective, Christianity being false will make no difference for an individual person since they will poof out of existence when they die, but it will indeed have a greater impact on the society as a whole. My actions made converts which caused them to make more converts or raise Christian children and so on. Not only did I focus on useless studies which did not better the world, but I also encouraged others to do likewise and ultimately made the world a little worse-off. I misdirected resources from beneficial studies while focusing efforts on condemning people and making them more like me.

How many great achievements have gone undone for focusing on a faith rather than on scientific or philosophical progress? How many achievements and discoveries were demonized and erased due to religion and even due to Christianity specifically? I personally cringe at the thought of all I could have been with my strength in logic and my desire to research neuroscience and quantum physics. Starting early, perhaps I could have discovered the mechanism of consciousness or developed the first warp drive. Perhaps I still have that chance today, but my circumstances now severely hinder that, and I am still fighting the negative effects of my previous life of faith. Faith in Christianity is anything but “nothing to lose” in such a regard and thus Pascal’s Wager falls entirely flat.

Another book on apologetics which I really liked was Josh McDowell’s Evidence That Demands a Verdict. It is filled with many “facts” that stand alone in an outline format without much discussion that I could not or would not ever personally verify. These data points seemed to make for a good argument for the faith since they could not be refuted if everyone lacked the energy to try or else had no clue what I was talking about. They simply made me look studied. I never did read the whole book as that would be akin to reading a dictionary straight through and that thought bored me, but I did find a lot of the information quite handy.

I especially liked the idea that the message of the Bible remained entirely consistent despite there being multiple authors of multiple professions throughout multiple decades. This is a common Christian misconception. They say that kings and lowly peasants alike over the course of thousands of years provided the same message of God and it all supposedly reads as one book. I find such an argument rather silly now after I had learned that there were so many writings to choose from. There are some 2000 pages of Old Testament writings now published in 2 volumes called the Pseudepigrapha and that is certainly not all of them. The book of Acts references a Book of Prophets and that book is nowhere to be found as far as I can tell. There are countless others written after Jesus’ death and yet were not included in the Bible.

It is fairly easy to select only such writings which suit a particular belief and compile them. The criteria used to select the books of the New Testament seemed honorable at the time by selecting people who physically saw Jesus or studied under one who had, but scholars now believe, mostly in consensus, that many of the authors are not who they claim to be. The criteria completely missed its mark. On top of such ease in selecting congruent texts, it is also simple enough for powerful leaders with an agenda to burn all books that displeased them. The Bible is thus seemingly consistent because all the inconsistent articles were not included when compiled or were burned and forever lost.

The Bible further appears consistent because people often excuse inconsistencies as mere misunderstandings given the pre-ordained bias that the book is perfect. No longer feeling the need to make amends for seemingly contradictory verses, I can honestly say that it does not seem very consistent at all nor does it read as a single book or story. So even if this argument strengthens the faith of a believer, it is never going to sound very legitimate to an atheist. I am actually convinced even now that there is nothing within the Bible that I could not find a solution for to make it seemingly consistent. Not because it is true, but because it is so easy to jump a few hoops.

Unfortunately, those with a knack for making things fit end up strengthening their faith every time they cram the square data into the round holes of reality. Making things consistent is what made me so radical since I could be all the more fully assured that I understood things with every new revelation and twisting of logic. Apologetics helped convince me of the logic in my faith for a time and allowed me to put even more faith in the people who came before me. It also helped me believe that God guided my understanding as I sought answers. After a while, I learned to trust that explanations existed whether I knew them or not so I no longer felt the need to look too closely at any one argument unless it interested me or someone in particular asked. I could be sure I would find an answer with the simplest of research so it felt like a waste of time to look much further into every complaint without special provocation.

My assurance of the existence of easy explanations led to quick trust of Christian scientists who would proclaim they had evidence of things like Noah’s flood or a young Earth. I already knew the truth so of course scientists were confirming it. I would always smile inside with a smug satisfaction, “Well duh, so what are the non-believers going to say now to deny it?”

No contradictions could stump me, and many people before me had devoted their lives to proving the infidel wrong. Surely, given the number of studied Christians before me, if a contradiction were to be found, the religion would have already failed and fallen apart. All these conclusions strengthened my faith in the Bible. Those wishing to pick out contradictions had simply chosen ahead of time that they would not believe and they would therefore reject and ignore all explanations. They were the blind ones unwilling to hear us out and not the other way around.

             I also studied other religions so that I could better refute the claims they had while promoting my own. I often explained how much Christianity differed from other religions and upheld the persistent Christian belief that it is technically not even a religion but rather a personal relationship with the one true God—unlike all the other religions. We taught that religion is when man tries to reach God through repetitive practices but that our faith had God reaching down to man. The more commonly understood definition of religion, and as Merriam Webster defines it, is “an organized system of beliefs, ceremonies, and rules used to worship a god or a group of gods.” Christianity fits this perfectly. It has an organized set of beliefs, ceremonies, and even rules regarding the worship of God. It does not matter if the belief is in man reaching up to God or if the belief is in God reaching down to man. It is humorous, then, that Christians often accuse atheism as being just another religion while simultaneously claiming their own is not. Fox News rolled an opinion article entitled “Sorry, But Atheism is a Religion” in March of 2013 which wrote:

 

Atheists are, in fact, some of the most religious people. First, they have a functioning God under whom they are subservient (normally it’s science or rationality, but mainly themselves), and that idea of God informs the way they live and interpret their lives. It informs their biases and determines their values, and governs any sense of morality or ethics they adhere to, or ignore.

 

This definition, of course, is defining a person’s philosophy and epistemology—their set of ideas about life, knowledge, and how facts are to be determined—as opposed to religion. Calling science a God does not in fact make science a mystical being responsible for creating or designing the universe in whom we wish to please. Finding insight and morality from one another as a philosophy and using science to determine fact as our epistemology is entirely opposed to following a religious book that is supposedly written by a deity.

In November of 2012, Bill O'Reilly, who is also from Fox News, stated “Christianity is not a religion; it is a philosophy.” So they define atheism’s philosophy as a religion and define Christianity’s religion as a philosophy. This definitional disconnect happens a lot in Christian circles because things fall apart when definitions are consistent. As long as it sounds good and makes one feel superior over others, the statement falls upon receptive ears and few people then think to keep definitions consistent in their analyzing of its veracity. Both statements cannot be true without altering the definitions from one to the next.

             Christians try defining their faith as philosophy because recognizing Christianity as a religion causes cognitive dissonance. It makes one consider that there are other religions to choose from and thus all could have an equal claim to correctness. Since one has to believe based on faith, how would one choose between multiple religions? By defining their faith as a non-religion they set themselves apart to feel unique while removing competition and disassociating themselves from the horrors that are seen within other religions. It further enables them to perpetuate an “us versus them” mentality. Of course, these illusions only work for those within the circle which help them feel as if they have made the proper choice. Those outside the circle see Christianity as entirely comparable to any other religion.

             Knowing that my non-religious religion was not truly a religion, I had no fear in researching other religions for the purpose of proving them wrong to others. While searching for information regarding other faiths, I found online that I could request a free Book of Mormon which would be delivered by real live Mormons who would then discuss it with me at length. Excited about such a learning and witnessing opportunity, I signed up and looked forward to their visit. I invited them in with a welcoming smile when they showed up about a week later. They were friendly, but I laughed internally every time they scratched their heads bewildered when I asked for clarification regarding some silly belief. I remember there being many things they talked about which proved contradictory to verses I knew in the Bible and they absolutely could not explain when I asked for clarification.

             The Mormons said they believed in both the Bible and the book of Mormon and yet the books contradicted each other in many ways. I would point these things out, but they remained obstinate and unwilling to recognize that their beliefs were foolishly incompatible. They simply reverted to the argument that they may not know how it all works together but that did not make any of it false. This may be technically true, but that does not provide much reason to believe it in the first place. They claimed to know it was true because they felt it was true in their hearts.  They also offered that if I were to read it with an open heart then I, too, would feel it and know. That, of course, is the nice way of calling someone closed-minded for not coming to the same conclusions regarding one’s own particular faith that they feel. But what good is a text which seems to contradict itself if you do not know how it resolves? It would be impossible to know which part to believe or if anything is true as interpreted. The statements immediately become useless if one cannot possibly know the true meanings behind them.

             I vowed at that point to always have a better explanation than “I feel” since anyone can be fooled into feeling anything as these people demonstrated so well. Feelings cannot distinguish one fact from another. I determined that if something could not be logically shown, then there is no reason to take it as absolute fact. If God were real, which he surely was, then I could place my faith in facts and reason as opposed to feelings which are clearly so easily swayed. God, being real, gave me no fear of facts. I had no reason to close my eyes. He would always prove himself true.

So if I claimed something that could easily be claimed by another religion with no way to verify it, then I would have to concede that it may not be true. In this way, the living God could direct me and I would not fall prey to the traditions of man as did the Pharisees and these silly Mormons. After all, I still believed that God lived and could thus direct my understanding. This would set a precedent for the rest of my life, but it would take a while to affect some of my lower-level core beliefs.

             The determination I had to be one of the few to find the narrow path consumed my life. I did not wish to take anything for granted. The Bible precisely indicated that the majority would have to be wrong given his many versus few who find the proper path. I expected the vast majority of people to be wrong and thus I felt entirely confirmed when the majority of people disagreed with me.

 

*  *  *

 

I did some extended fasting a few times trying to connect more with God as I sought his narrow path. If I had to fight against the majority, I would need God’s continual input and grace to direct me. I fasted for a week on three separate occasions while in college and I even convinced my friend Harvey to do it with me once as well. I consumed nothing but juice and milk for two fasts and only water for the third. I understood fasting to be a powerful way to show my devotion to God and indeed I felt closer to him for doing so. For my junior year, I put my food in the hands of God entirely by not purchasing a food plan and expecting that God would always provide someone who would be willing to swipe me into the cafeteria with one of the meals from their own plan.

I actually saw this as a great way to both demonstrate my faith and reliance in God while also reducing waste. Many freshmen ended up with a meal plan which included three meals a day and they would often find that they did not eat all three for various reasons. I saw no point in letting them go to waste. I ended up scheduling certain meals with certain people throughout the week and this provided a great time for regular fellowship and unofficial mentoring with them. Some people perceived me as being terrible for using people in this way, but each person assured me that they enjoyed the time. On top of that, these people then got to be used by God which is a fantastic opportunity. I often only ate once or twice a day, but it mimicked a consistent fasting much like Muslims do for Ramadan where they fast from dawn to dusk and eat only at night. This constant similarity to fasting made me feel all the more connected with God and it made me skinnier to boot.

             At the end of one of my week-long fasts, I had hoped to break it with a meal from Perkins to celebrate the achievement and to enjoy God’s provision of food in a more special manner. I had no car of my own, however, and no one appeared willing to give me a ride even if simply to drop me off. This really frustrated me that all my supposed brothers and sisters in Christ could not even do such a small thing for someone trying to celebrate after such a challenging feat of faith. No one would break the fast with me or even just let me borrow their vehicle so that I could go by myself—no one but Emily.

             I had only just recently met Emily maybe a month before, but she let me borrow her car with the mere stipulation that I be careful since she was warned not to let anyone else use it. I felt this truly exemplified pure love and faith. She took a risk and put faith in God for the simple purpose of helping someone. I immediately liked this Emily girl and I knew I would need to get to know her more. She later agreed to help me at her own loss of sleep by picking me up at two in the morning after my Spring break mission trip to Mexico. The trip itself was enjoyable, but I could not stop thinking about Emily throughout it. She lived sacrificially and I loved it. I had wondered about her concept of materialism and whether or not she would be the type of person who would accept a humble ring made of wood as an engagement ring. This would be, of course, my idea of a godly woman. I was not looking to tie the knot at that point, but my thoughts were consumed with learning more about her love for God and whether or not she could be “the one.”

The means by which I paid for my trip to Mexico might be the only really astounding part about the trip. My parents’ church, the Community Bible Chapel, paid my way in full. Unfortunately, I did not realize until after I arrived in Mexico that the $700 I needed to go only covered my way and my stay but had nothing to do with food or anything else. Brandon, a friend and fellow member of the Elite Forces Bible Study better known as “Commando,” helped me survive that week. Not only did he help me eat, but he allowed me to buy some mementos as well. I bought a handmade Mexican blanket which I gave to my brother in hopes that he would remember me and through it come to be obedient to God. I also bought a homemade vanilla-scented candle to give to Emily in hopes that she, too, would think of me as much as I was thinking of her.

             On the flight down to Guadalajara, I sat next to a Mexican lady and received a taste of their religious upbringing. Mexico is very Catholic in culture, but it seemed that they were just about as knowledgeable as the people I was surrounded by back home. On numerous occasions she had asked me what she believed since she was not quite sure herself. Having studied up on Catholicism I was able to help her understand what her church likely taught, but I expressed that she should be free to believe differently and in fact should look into the truths herself. Such a concept of believing what someone else teaches before you even know what they say simply astonished me. That exchange left me scratching my head and I am still scratching even today. Perhaps that explains my severe lack of hair at such a young age.

             We spent most of the week on a college campus trying to witness to the Mexican students there and inviting them to join their local Crusade group. I tried focusing intently on only a couple people by playing catch and eating lunch with them. I had always thought that personability drew people in more than broad sweeping announcements and advertisements although I now see that, numbers-wise, that is fairly foolish. Any one person might be more likely to be converted if you spend personal time rather than handing them a tract, but handing out a hundred tracts is more likely to reach that one or two people who are willing to respond to it. One particular person might never convert while a few in a hundred might already be willing to convert. Mass-proselytizing definitely wins.

My new-found Mexican friends introduced me to Guadalajara’s famous Torta Ahogada sandwich and horchata—my favorite drink of all time. It did not occur to me at the time that the giant containers of homemade horchata were likely made from tap water, but that realization certainly came soon enough. Luckily, my bowels waited until I arrived back home to Michigan to reveal their dirty little secret.

             When we were not on campus, we were often hanging out with the local campus’ Crusade group. It was fun spurring them on to do God’s work and singing and studying with them. I gave away my Elite Forces sweatshirt to one of them since he liked it so much. I thought it would help to spur on love with such a display of giving.  I also hoped it would remind him of me and my attempts at persuading him into a more heart-felt and sacrificial faith. It felt awesome to literally give someone the shirt off my back.

             One event which really stood out to me during my stay in Guadalajara was the church we went to. We went to a protestant church which is fairly uncommon in Mexico. It had been set up with folding chairs under a modest tent since it lacked the financial backing of hundreds of thousands of people as belonged to the Catholic churches. The people all seemed so happy and engaged much like a Crusade gathering. People swung their bodies as they sang and had huge smiles on their faces. I had not seen such joy in a church back home and I longed to see more churches just like it. Such churches do exist, of course, but apparently not in the remote corner of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan where I had lived. My church back home, however, was about to provide for me the greatest experience of my life.